It’s 5:30pm on the 24th of January. And it just hit me. Today marks 5 years since d-day–Lily’s Rett diagnosis day.

What a 5 years it’s been. What a roller-coaster. But I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I’ve got the sweetest, coolest almost 8 year old I know. She is my joy, my inspiration.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. Every day I say to her when she’s having a tough moment–like trying to walk in the morning or crying uncontrollably in the middle of the night–that I can’t fix things. But that I can make them better. With love and comfort and compassion. But I can’t fix it. I can’t fix it.

That sucks. No one should ever have to see their child suffer so much. Every day. Every day. I’ll say it again: every day.

And we are so fortunate right now as Lily is going through a relatively stable period. And the ‘relatively’ is truly that. I am not trying to sugarcoat any of it: our ‘normal’ is anything but that.

So it’s been 5 years. And we’re getting closer to the ‘cure’ but it’s still not here. And every day as Lily grows and Rett continues to ravage her body, that ‘cure’ looks less and less like a cure for her. At this point I’ll take whatever it is we can get. Just to let her have the ability to breathe with ease, to wake up and not be in pain… I’ll take it.

I can’t believe she’s going to be 8 in a few weeks. I can’t believe how much she’s grown and changed. I can’t believe how much I’ve transformed because of her. And for that, I am grateful.

In so many ways, she’s such a ‘normal’ kid. She’s been putting together weekly hair menus letting me know how she wants her hair done every day. How freaking cute is that? Currently she’s all about pigtails. As you can see from the menu and hairstyle:

Her birthday is on the 8th of February. And I wish I could give you a list of things she wants as presents. But I don’t have one because she cannot tell me outright. So if you want to do something for her, consider making a donation to Rett Syndrome research. Not only will it go to her future, but the future of all her other Rett sisters and brothers.

With love,

C & L


Join me on November 2nd in NYC to celebrate our amazing Rett sweeties

image In my spare time (!), I help raise awareness and funds for Rett Syndrome Research Trust (RSRT), an organization that is near and dear to my heart. Prior to last January, I had never heard of the organization, but since then, they’ve become a crucial part of my life, and my hope for my daughter’s future.

As you all know, Lily was diagnosed early last year with Rett Syndrome. It’s not a high-profile diagnosis, but it is a devastating one. Rett impacts 1 in 10,000 girls and women, and most are wheelchair-bound by the age of 2.

Lily is one of the lucky ones. This year alone, she has lost – and then regained – her ability to swallow and use her hands purposefully. She walks (or runs!), has some hand function, and doesn’t need a feeding tube. She’s also making HUGE progress in her communication skills, with the use of specialized eye gaze technology.  I want to thank you for taking part in this journey with me.  Your support through this blog – both near and far, is indescribable.

I also don’t know what I would do without her army of therapists and doctors (at last count there were over 25). They have become like family to me, as have my friends at RSRT.

Sleeping peacefully during an EEG yesterday at the hospital.

Sleeping peacefully during an EEG yesterday at the hospital.

This organization has made remarkable progress in advancing research on Rett Syndrome. A few years ago, approaches attacking Rett at its genetic root were not possible. Today there is scientific evidence that gene therapy could offer an effective way to treat – or even reverse – the disorder. RSRT is spearheading an ambitious gene therapy project to make this possibility a reality.

But we need your help to continue this scientific momentum and to support more research projects. I hope you can join me this year at the RSRT’s 7th annual Reverse Rett fundraiser to celebrate our girls and help work towards making their fugures even brighter.

Please click here for details. I hope to see you there!  If you can’t make it, please consider making a donation – any amount, small or large, helps us get one step closer to a cure.

Thank you.

Lily’s a featured angel on the Int’l Rett Syndrome Foundation site

She’s going to be 3 years old and has had 3 different diagnoses.  The last one (Rett Syndrome) combines the first two (autism and ESES, pre-epileptic activity) and adds a few more.  But regardless…. she’s still the best.  Ever.

We are heading to the hospital tomorrow and will be there for her birthday, but will celebrate it in style.  As always.

Check out her profile here:

And there is NO need for gifts or anything of the sort for her birthday.  If you feel so moved to do something, you can always make a donation (large or small) to the IRSF.  They’re amazing and have been so helpful for us these past two weeks.

C and L