Let the sun shine in

Posted on July 25, 2014 by mommabear0208

I’m starting to get nostalgic about the views from my apartment. Lily and I have gotten spoiled these past two years. And we’ve also gotten suntans sitting in our living room.

Last night, the sunset was spectacular.

As L and I were dancing around the living room, with me singing the opening number to ‘A Chorus Line’, I noticed how stunning the light streaming into our living room was. So I swooped her up and took a few shots. I’m only attaching one, but there are a gazillion others. Photo is untouched.

This kid is full of sheer joy when her momma is singing. Which is funny because I have a terrible singing voice. I guess it’s improved a bit after 3 years of nonstop singing (I’m known as the mommy jukebox in the neighborhood – am always singing to L walking down the street, swinging in the park, buying coffee at the patisserie, etc…). But in comparison to my mom, or my sister, or any of my other family members, this singing voice of mine still stinks.

And L is so picky about the music she likes. So picky. Some mornings I’m at a loss as to what else to sing to her. There are only so many times I can do a rendition of Jason Mraz’ ‘I’m yours’. And she’s growing out of the ABC’s. But a miraculous thing happened the other morning while we were hanging out in bed with me crooning to her (one of our favorite past-times). As I was mentally scratching my head to think up another song to sing (while still singing the song I was already singing – L doesn’t like gaps in her music), I had a spark of an idea – which I’m pretty sure was whispered to me by my dad – I should start singing the soundtrack to ‘Grease’! And – tada! We have a new slew of songs that makes L laugh and giggle. And thankfully I know ALL the words to all the songs as I listened to the record nonstop as a kid. So thank you Dad for reminding me about a movie that was a favorite of ours to watch together. I know this is going to be a new favorite of L’s too.

Troppo da fare (translation: too much to do)

Posted on July 21, 2014 by mommabear0208

Most days, I have to remind myself to breathe. Deep, yogic breaths.

I’m fortunate that I spent years and years practicing yoga, even participating in a grueling, life-changing 4 week yoga training course in an ashram, in India back in 2008.

Prior to having L, I had a solid asana practice (i.e., doing yoga poses every day). I even meditated somewhat successfully. Even when I was pregnant, I was taking classes, stretching my mind and my body, grounding myself.

Now? I try. Really I do. I take a class every once in a while. I sometimes go to the Buddhist meditation center in Chelsea. But most days, I barely have time to think about it. When it gets really rough, I lie on the ground in sivasana (corpse pose) and do a few simple twists.

Lately ‘really rough’ has been the norm. I could make a laundry list of all the things I’m stressing about, but I’d prefer not to. Instead, I will share some updates, adding a positive twist to them.

My mom is fit to fly. She’s FINALLY coming home after being stuck in a southern Italian hospital for almost two weeks. She is one tough cookie, this mom of mine.
Lily is growing out of her crib. This girl is getting taller and taller each day. I’m not going to move her into a big girl bed until we get settled into our new home (likely to be a mattress on the floor with pillows everywhere).
We are going to move. Somewhere beautiful. And hopefully I’ll have better clarity this evening. But I don’t want to jinx it. I considered dedicating a blog to the soul-sucking experience of apartment hunting in NYC but I decided to spare you.
Lily is starting preschool in September. We will have a whole new support system to work with. And they will be wonderful. They have to be wonderful.

And oh, this is just the tip of the iceberg. But, deep breaths. It will all work out.

Must run – about to chair my quarterly CSR committee meeting at work. Forza!

Sending love,

C and L

A better than normal life

Posted on July 15, 2014 by mommabear0208

In my world, life these days is far from normal.

Last week, Lily and I went on vacation. It was the first real vacation this sweetie pie has had in well over a year. It was such a treat, on so many levels. Spending an entire week straight with my daughter is a rare occurrence. Not having my daughter at home with me every day breaks my heart. But I can’t walk around heartbroken. It won’t do either of us good. So instead, I cherish every moment I have with her. Better than normal.

We started our vacation in New Jersey with our cousins and then drove up to the Cape to spend the week with friends. Perfect weather. Perfect company. Amazing hospitality. Getting handed a hot cup of coffee every morning, not having to think about what to eat for lunch or dinner (wow, did they feed me well) and hanging out with Lily so that I could swim a few laps – this is what I call luxury. And love. We were both so loved and cared for that week. Better than normal.

I told myself before we left for our holiday that I would NOT stress out about the upcoming apartment hunt, that I would not check my work email, that I would not worry about the future. And you know what? Looking back, I did a pretty fantastic job of not worrying about any of these things. But this is mainly because everything got trumped by one big, scary event that happened on the day we were driving up to the Cape. My mother fell gravely ill while on vacation in Italy and had almost died.

Even as I write now – a week later, my mother is still in Italy, in a hospital. Thankfully she is recovering and has finally been able to eat something today. My sister (who was in Italy with her) has been taking great care of her; my brother Matt is heading out tomorrow to take over. And me? Well, the guilt I feel of not being able to drop everything and go over there is palpable. But I am doing what I can from here. And once I find us a new home, I’m on the next plane to Italy. (I may dedicate my next post to the soul-sucking experience of apartment hunting in NYC.)

But this post is about a better than normal life… So actually, it’s amazing to me that my mother – the fighter that she is – survived. It’s amazing to me that she is getting better day by day. It’s amazing to me that she has so much love and support from her family and friends.

What else is better than normal? Watching my silly Lily run and giggle up and down the beach at the Cape while making friends with everyone she came across, and knowing that things could have been very different for her.

The stairmaster

Posted on June 29, 2014 by mommabear0208

What a great weekend… But of course, it’s always a great weekend when Grandma’s in town!!!

We were socialites on Friday evening. It was girls night out with Maureen, Auntie Angela and Grandma…

We spent time frolicking with our playgroup friends on Saturday morning and then climbing up the stairs (all by herself I may add) at the park to get to the swings.

And we did LOTS of giggling. I mean LOTS. Between me coming up with new songs to sing (currently L’s LOVING my rendition of the opening song to ‘A Chorus Line’) and Grandma just being Grandma, this little girl was full of non-stop laughter.

And… I don’t want to jinx anything but I may have just found us a new home!!! More soon on this.

Love,

C and L