In my world, life these days is far from normal.
Last week, Lily and I went on vacation. It was the first real vacation this sweetie pie has had in well over a year. It was such a treat, on so many levels. Spending an entire week straight with my daughter is a rare occurrence. Not having my daughter at home with me every day breaks my heart. But I can’t walk around heartbroken. It won’t do either of us good. So instead, I cherish every moment I have with her. Better than normal.
We started our vacation in New Jersey with our cousins and then drove up to the Cape to spend the week with friends. Perfect weather. Perfect company. Amazing hospitality. Getting handed a hot cup of coffee every morning, not having to think about what to eat for lunch or dinner (wow, did they feed me well) and hanging out with Lily so that I could swim a few laps – this is what I call luxury. And love. We were both so loved and cared for that week. Better than normal.
I told myself before we left for our holiday that I would NOT stress out about the upcoming apartment hunt, that I would not check my work email, that I would not worry about the future. And you know what? Looking back, I did a pretty fantastic job of not worrying about any of these things. But this is mainly because everything got trumped by one big, scary event that happened on the day we were driving up to the Cape. My mother fell gravely ill while on vacation in Italy and had almost died.
Even as I write now – a week later, my mother is still in Italy, in a hospital. Thankfully she is recovering and has finally been able to eat something today. My sister (who was in Italy with her) has been taking great care of her; my brother Matt is heading out tomorrow to take over. And me? Well, the guilt I feel of not being able to drop everything and go over there is palpable. But I am doing what I can from here. And once I find us a new home, I’m on the next plane to Italy. (I may dedicate my next post to the soul-sucking experience of apartment hunting in NYC.)
But this post is about a better than normal life… So actually, it’s amazing to me that my mother – the fighter that she is – survived. It’s amazing to me that she is getting better day by day. It’s amazing to me that she has so much love and support from her family and friends.
What else is better than normal? Watching my silly Lily run and giggle up and down the beach at the Cape while making friends with everyone she came across, and knowing that things could have been very different for her.